Why Don’t They?

The purpose of this post is to provide a possible explanation why your loved ones don’t change their perceptions of reality.

This isn’t a one-size fits all explanation. I feel like most issues in life are complex and involve a pie chart of reasons why something is going on, and the percentages are different for each person.

The quick answer is: then what? If your loved one changes their perception of reality, then what? Can they handle all of the work that is required after having that change of perception? Can they handle the amount of self-reflection and forgiveness that comes with it? Do they have the energy and resources to safely process and work through all that is required to deal with after having that change of perception? Will they be able to safely deal with the aftereffects or will they be through into a bad, spiral state that they can’t recover from?

For some people (including myself), the work required after a change in perception is worth it. But it’s not my place to determine if it would be worth it for another person. If they don’t have the time, resources, energy, determination, self-love, mindset, and whatnot to go through this arduous journey, then it may not be worth it to them at this point or in this life.

 

You Changed:

So you had this epiphany about your life, your childhood, your religion, your wellbeing, your (blank) and you notice that someone else that you love and care about is stuck in the pre-epiphany state and have no desire to change. Why don’t they have the epiphany to? It made your life better and more fulfilling. It’s helped you love yourself more. It’s empowered you to live a better life. It’s helped you out so much and you feel with every fiber of your being that it would help them too. You see them suffering and feel it would alleviate that suffering. It would cast that weight off. It would be so beneficial. So why don’t they?

 

Example: Religion:

For the purpose of this post, I’m going to use religion as an example, specifically Christianity. This is a very personal topic for me. I had to do a lot of self-work to heal my relationship with myself that had been harmed due to how I was taught to view Christianity and how to view myself through its lens. There were things that were not taught by the church I was raised in or my family, but being in the Bible belt, there were things I heard from peers and adults alike that managed to permeate my subconscious without my realizing it. People who grow up around those who are constantly talking about their religion and religious beliefs are going to be affected by it. People who grow up around those whose religion is all about trying to force everyone to follow their beliefs are going to be affected by it.

If addressing the harmful effects of backwater Christian teachings makes you feel attacked, then feel free to not read this post. This part of the blog is written for myself and people who are beginning or in the middle of their self-work to know they are not alone. These weren’t all necessarily taught in the denomination I grew up in, but I grew up in a community that was very much Hell, Fire, and Brimstone and I didn’t realize how much I took in those beliefs subconsciously until I dived into this work.

Before I begin, I respect the aspect of Christianity that is about love, forgiveness, kindness, and helping others around us. I have many loved ones in my life who focus on practicing the teachings of Jesus and bringing more love into the world. I know many amazing ministers who advocate for those who are being abused by those who twist the religion for their personal vendettas and greed. These are all people who know I’m not Christian and respect that. When I told my grandma I wasn’t Christian, she told me that I was a good person and that’s all she ever wanted from her children and grandchildren. These amazing people practice the religion based on love and acceptance and I’m grateful for them. I think it’s wonderful they found a spiritual practice that makes them feel good. While I am not Christian, I support and appreciate Jesus’ teachings about being kind to each other and showing love for each other regardless of our differences.

I also know many religious leaders and people who preach condemnation and damnation towards those who do not follow the religion. I know many religious leaders and people who preach condemnation and damnation towards those who follow the religion, but not to their liking. I have loved ones who have been yelled at, harassed, and told their going to Hell by their peers for something as simple as reading a fantasy novel. Anyone that doesn’t follow their religion, they accuse of following Satan and trying to corrupt others. Anyone who challenges the harmful ways they practice the religion, they accuse of following Satan and trying to corrupt others. It’s all about protecting children from certain books and shows, but ignoring actual abuse going on. I know people who were told by their religious leaders to stay in abusive relationships with their spouses (and their children were subjected to abuse too) because divorce goes against God’s teachings. It’s a wife’s job to serve their husband and never leave him. I’ve had loved ones told by their religious leaders that it is not possible for a husband to rape their wife because they are supposed to be subservient to their husband. Not to mention the religious leaders constantly being caught in pedophilia and yet are protected vehemently by their organizations while said organizations proclaimed consenting adults who love each other are going to Hell. This bastardization of Christianity has done a tremendous amount of damage and has contributed to countless atrocities across the world. These are bullies who don’t belief in religion, but exploit it for personal gain and so they don’t have to be accountable or responsible for their actions.

 

What Original Perception Changed for Me? What Were the Ramifications for this Change? What Other Perceptions Had to Change?

What happens when we go through a huge internal change? It changes how we interact with our environment. It changes how we interact with people. It changes how we look at ourselves.

My journey with healing this stuff began in my teens, but even with that I’m still amazed about how various aspects and perceptions continued to influence my behavior subconsciously into my thirties.

These are the majority of the aspects I had to address and heal at the beginning, middle, and end of my change in perception about sin. It required a lot of honesty, sincerity, empathy, forgiveness, time, and resources. It wasn’t an overnight change and there were many dark nights of the soul. There was guilt and shame for how I viewed myself and viewed others.

Of course, being on the other side of this change in perception, my life is wonderful. I’m grateful I took the journey. I’m grateful for all of the weight that has been lifted off of me. I’m grateful for the wonderful relationship I have with myself and others. I would take this journey all over again.

The example I’m going to give for this is the false perception I had to identify and heal within myself:

I am sinful/bad.

• This statement has so many nuances. Not only am I sinful, but I need to do things to be forgiven for being sinful. I’m so sinful that someone died so I wouldn’t be punished. Because I’m sinful, I have to prove I’m worthy. I have to prove I’m good.

I’ve healed this. I no longer believe I am sinful. I no longer believe I am bad.

I believe I am a good person. There are times where I make mistakes because I’m not perfect. There are times where I exhibit bad behaviors. When I say bad behaviors, I refer to behaviors that are harmful to others and/or myself. It is my responsibility to figure out why I’m performing those bad behaviors and take the necessary steps to correct them. If someone claims my actions are harmful, it is my responsibility to do self-introspection and ask others for advice as to whether that action was harmful or not. If they say my performing tarot readings or falling in love with someone of the same gender is harmful to them, it is my responsibility to advocate for myself and support myself. It is my responsibility to leave their harmful energy with them and continue my journey in life without them. If through introspection and talking to others it turns out I have harmed someone else (like if I yelled at them), it is my responsibility to admit my failures and ask forgiveness, knowing that they may never forgive me and that is okay. It is okay for me to acknowledge my faults. I can make mistakes and have faults and still be a good person.

Most people are good. Most people are operating through a lens of trauma and skewed perceptions on reality. This affects their judgements and how they treat others. If they are harmful to my loved ones or me, I get as far away from them as possible, but that doesn’t mean they are inherently evil or deserve condemnation. I don’t believe in Hell and I feel when we die, we get a full scope of the type of person we were during this life. At the most, Hell is us realizing empathetically how poorly we treated others while we were alive. Even if that version of Hell exists, it is a temporary state.

Once I realized I was a good person and had been this whole time, it forced me to re-examine my life and how I treated and viewed others and myself. These are concepts that tied in with my limited belief as viewing myself as sinful. I’m not saying people who view themselves as sinful believe anything on this list. I’m not saying that all denominations of Christianity teach these things or that they are intentionally pushing these things onto others. This is my personal experience.

What I had to acknowledge in order to let go of belief “I am sinful”:

1. I had to acknowledge that, because I viewed myself as bad, I had a lot of negative self-talk towards myself growing up. I didn’t feel I deserved good things to happen to me because I was sinful. I wanted good things to happen, but I didn’t think they would and I didn’t think I deserved them. I felt God didn’t think I deserved them. I hated and resented myself for being bad. There was a lot of shame tied in with this that severely harmed my self-esteem.
   • I had to admit how much I hurt myself for little over two decades because I believed this about myself. It was hard to admit how many opportunities I didn’t take advantage of or attempt because I didn’t feel like I deserved those things. It took a long time to retrain myself to speak more positively about myself and love myself. A lot of self-work, apologies, changed actions, and asking for forgiveness was required to heal my relationship with myself. Myself includes my inner child, inner teenager, and inner adult.
2. I had to acknowledge that I felt I had to earn everything in life. I had to earn rest and relaxation. I had to earn playtime. I had to earn things that involved taking care of myself.
   • I had to admit that I felt God was the only one who could decide if I earned it or not. Problem with that was I thought God viewed me as inherently sinful or bad. My view of God was not an accurate depiction of God. To heal this, I had to let go of God viewing me as sinful.
   • Now, God, to me, is loving and would support and cheer me on whether I was resting, relaxing, playing, or working. They are happy with me regardless of what I do. This type of God would never label me as bad or sinful for existing outside of societal norms.
3. I had to acknowledge that I severely stunted my spiritual growth with my psychic gifts and energetic healing practice because I believed I was inherently bad and all that I did was bad.
   • I had to admit how much I limited myself and stifled my abilities. I had to mourn the decades of lost time I had where I could have been fully studying, embracing, and cultivating my psychic techniques. I had to forgive myself for this and focus on the amount of time I still have to celebrate and build my gifts. I took classes, listened to podcasts, and opened myself up more to psychic/intuitive abilities to make amends with this. It also took a lot of self-work, apologies, changed actions, and asking forgiveness to heal my relationship with my spiritual self.
4. I had to acknowledge the loss of opportunities I had because of fear of being judged as bad. For the longest time, I didn’t talk about my spirituality, psychic, or paranormal things because of fear. I’m sure I lost opportunities because I allowed fear to control me even when I was in locations that were more open-minded.
   • Imagine how many people have missed out on fun hairstyles, funky wardrobes, tattoos, piercings, fashion styles, and other forms of self-expression because of fear of being seen as sinful. Imagine how many people have missed out on healthy, loving romantic relationships, friendships, and family relationships because of fear of being seen as sinful. Imagine this person having an epiphany and having to acknowledge each and every missed opportunity?
     • Having an epiphany as a teen is different than as a person beginning their journey in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, etc. Is it possible? Absolutely. Those who take the journey of a change in perception are freer and more fulfilled for it. It doesn’t change the fact that it is hard and requires work. The later in life, the more work it can require depending on social circles and support systems.
     • And what if the person was cruel to others? What if they spewed their judgements on others? What if they told people that performing XYZ was sinful and they were going to Hell? Having an epiphany would require acknowledging the negativity they put in the world and the hate they put on others. They weren’t acting in love, but in hate and fear. They would need to take responsibility and accountability for their actions.
     • Maybe the person’s spirit knows the journey may be too much for them. Maybe they aren’t meant to focus on that in this life. Maybe their subconscious programs and perceptions are too great and they can no longer hear their intuition or spirit. Regardless, I understand why they may never start this path. Or start a piece of it and then stop and never pick up the journey again.

5. I had to acknowledge that I was very negative about my physical body and spoke poorly about my attributes. Pairing up with the sinful stuff was the negative views about women in general. I wasn’t supposed to like or want sex. If I did, I was bad. If I dressed in a way that provoked responses from men, it was my fault and I was bad. But, if I dressed and looked a way that didn’t receive any attention from men, it was also bad.
   • I had to admit how much I verbally abused myself over my physical attributes. It was always never enough or too much. It was either too ugly or too sexual. There was no in-between. This doesn’t include the other societal pressures and negative perceptions we are brainwashed to think are valid. I changed my conversations towards myself to celebrating my existence. My studies in body work were used to show myself how amazing my body is. My body is miraculous. My body is amazing. My body allows me to exist on earth. Celebrating my sexuality and sexual expression helped. It also took self-work, apologies, changed actions, and asking forgiveness to heal my relationship with my physical self.
   • While this was not the case for me personally, I know way too many women who grew up feeling ashamed of their genitalia, feeling lustful, and masturbation. For some, shame for masturbation was the most emphasized. They felt they weren’t allowed to focus on their desires. After speaking, they admitted they felt they wouldn’t have had sex as early if their self-pleasure had been normalized and empowered. They can give themselves pleasure and it’s a natural, biological process that has lots of benefits.
6. I had to acknowledge how much I struggled with doing things for the joy and pleasure of it. I had to acknowledge how difficult it was for me to experience pleasure without having to work hard or suffer for it first.
   • This ties in with number 2 and 5 to varying degrees.
7. I had to acknowledge the amount of fear and anxiousness I felt growing up with not being enough and not being worthy of good things happening to me. I put a lot of pressure on myself to prove myself to others. I was hard on myself if I felt like I wasn’t able to prove myself to the level I deemed “enough” which I never actually reached.
   • I had to acknowledge how much I relied on others and what they had to say about me to determine my self-worth. I put way too much emphasis on others’ opinions of me. I had no boundaries and would exploit myself to try to win over other people. I needed them to view me as a good, sweet person. Even when they did, it didn’t actually change how I viewed myself. I instead would focus on the ones I hadn’t won over yet. If they didn’t like it, I would use that as “evidence” that I wasn’t good enough. The amount of people pleasing I did is astonishing and sad. I had to makes amends with myself as well as create and enforce healthy boundaries to help heal this. I had to be okay with the fact that there are people who hate me, dislike me, are indifferent to me, or may even like me but aren’t compatible with me.
   • I had to acknowledge in yet another way I was hard on myself. I had demanded so much of myself and yet it was never enough to appease an unachievable goal I had for myself. I learned to acknowledge my inherent worth and put myself first. I applaud myself for the days I am able to only give 5% as much as the days when I can give 100%. I allow myself to be human and celebrate this about myself. I’m okay with the fact that there are people who will not like me no matter what. There are people who will have poor views of me and that is okay. As long as I feel I’m doing my best with what I have, that’s all I can and will ask of myself.
8. I had to acknowledge the amount of self-sacrificing and martyring I did to try to earn good points and prove I was a good person. I felt I needed to go above and beyond for others. Part of it was absolutely to be loved and because I was a people pleaser. I wanted positive reinforcement. Another part of it was to prove to God I was a good person. I didn’t feel I was a good person (because I was sinful), but I felt like if I did enough things then maybe I could feel God’s presence. Maybe then I would know God.
   • I had to admit how much mistreatment I allowed myself to receive because I wanted to prove my worth. It was hard to face how much I put my body and mind through regarding physical and mental demands to help others while I was already exhausted and drained. It was hard to get comfortable with saying “no.” It was hard to set up and enforce boundaries. Each time I wondered if I was still a good person when I was saying no and not helping others as much. But resting and relaxing has been phenomenal for my body and mind.
   • How many pick unhealthy relationships to “fix” the person? They put it on themselves to suffer in the relationship to prove how good they are. Some may even pick these harmful people because they hope that in comparison they’ll be viewed as good.
9. I had to acknowledge how much the concept of “turning the other cheek” and unquestioned forgiveness led me to stay in unhealthy and sometimes abusive relationships. The concept of unconditional love and compassion for the harmful person ties in with this. The expectation that we should love them. Jesus turned the other cheek. Jesus forgave those who crucified him. It was expected to strive to reach that level of compassion and forgiveness, but it’s unrealistic to our wellbeing.
   • I had to create boundaries and walk away from relationships and still view myself as a good, loving, and compassionate person. The quote “love is unconditional, relationships are conditional” helped me some with this. Also “an apology without change is manipulation” helped me some. I don’t have to stay around someone who is mean or harmful to me. I can have compassion for a person and their situation and also view their treatment towards me as unacceptable and walk away from them. I can and should remove myself from situations that are detrimental to my health. I can wish people healing from afar. I don’t have to expose myself to abuse as proof of being spiritual or good.
10. I had to acknowledge the amount of guilt I was holding onto because it really stuck with me that someone was murdered so I wouldn’t go to Hell. I didn’t realize how much survivor’s guilt I had because I was taught Jesus died for me.
    • I had to admit that I felt so guilty and shameful for this. It’s hard to acknowledge how much this belief negatively affected me for decades. The guilt and shame morphed into resentment towards the religion. It became a “I didn’t ask for this” and more shame for not being “grateful.” My family didn’t push the guilt and shame on me, I did it to myself.
    • I had to admit that no one ever pointed out in church that God could have forgiven us because They are all powerful and doesn’t need any sort of sacrifice to do so. Having the requirement of death shows appeasement of a vengeful and imperfect God, which is a type of God I don’t believe exists.
    • I had to admit how much God had been humanized in the Bible. I had to acknowledge that the imperfect God in the Bible enforced conditional love and unfair expectations on Their imperfect creations. I had to acknowledge that those in the church and went to church humanized Them further to make Them seem vindictive, spiteful, and uncompassionate. The version of God I believe in is understanding, compassionate, loving, and supportive. They are always advocating and believing in me. If I mess up, They are there for support, not condemnation. They will help me out of a tough situation without saying “I told you so” or forcing me to wallow in it even when I ask for help as “punishment.”
11. I had to acknowledge the anger and resentment I felt towards my family for indoctrinating me from an early age into a religion that preached at me that I’m sinful. That they allowed me to be told and taught from infant age that a man died for me so I could go to Heaven. As I got older, then it was also the gruesomeness of his death and suffering. All for me. All to save me.
    • I had to acknowledge that my family imparted such a negative way to view myself. My family had improved by not talking much about sin. They accepted people of all walks of life. They learned about and respected others’ religions. They viewed it that good people went to Heaven regardless of the path they took in life. Religious or not religious, all good people were welcomed in Heaven. They supported the queer community and women holding positions of power in the church. But the undercurrent of sin was there and there were many in the church who had no problem emphasizing sin and damnation even though that wasn’t the denomination’s focus. Of course, once I worked through this, I understood why they believed the way they did. It was a survival and having this religion influenced them positively in a lot of ways. I’m grateful for my family and am at peace with how I was raised.
12. I had to acknowledge the friendships I lost or didn’t have due to religious influence. I lost friendships because I wasn’t Christian. Some at first were okay that I wasn’t Christian, but when I spent time with people who they deemed “unspiritual” they decided we shouldn’t be friends. There are people I refuse to be friends with because they believe and support the concept of Hell and that people who don’t believe in Jesus will go to Hell. One in particular said they believe a pedophile who asks for forgiveness and is Christian will go to Heaven, but a good person that is not Christian will not go to Heaven because they don’t believe in Jesus. There are many people that I don’t associate with because of these views. I also live in the Bible belt in a very backwater Christian area that believes strongly in Hell.
    • It’s hard to be around people who are okay with the thought of me being damned because I don’t believe. They view me as a good person and say as much, but still don’t view it as enough in their religion to deserve Heaven. Instead, in their religion, I would spend eternity in Hell.
    • I had to admit a part of me mourns losing some of these friendships and relationships because some aspects of those people were great to be around. I often felt left out for not believing in sin. There are groups that those beliefs are what hold them together. They are in an exclusive club I will never be part of. Initially, it does feel lonely and, at the same time, I’d rather feel this way than to believe in sin and be stuck in patterns that were so detrimental to my wellbeing. Also, being in the Bible belt area, there is a level of solitude that comes with this change. I had to be okay and enjoy my own company for me to be really comfortable with this aspect of change.
13. I had to acknowledge that good and sin were both defined in a myriad of ways. Some people defined good and sin in broad, general ways. Others had very specific definitions of good and sin. There was a lot of conflicts among denominations as well as church members as to what was good and what was sinful in God’s eyes. I know people who were told dying their hair was a sin. Others who were told having tattoos was a sin. I know people who were told by Christian divorcees that homosexuality was a sin.
    • I had to admit how much influence people’s opinions have, especially when I acknowledged their opinions had no basis in Jesus’ teachings. I logically knew most of the specific examples of sin were wrong, but other things they said made me struggle with things to accept within myself.
    • I had to admit how much I used people’s opinions of what sin was to internalize my own self-hatred. I didn’t use people’s opinions of sin towards others. Whenever a loved one told me someone condemned them or said something they did was sinful, I would defend them and I sincerely meant it. I viewed my loved ones as inherently good and deserving Heaven, but couldn’t accept I was inherently good too.
14. I had to acknowledge how much I masculinized God. God is not a Him or Her. God is gender neutral. God has no physical form and is all. I didn’t realize how much I had put men on a pedestal compared to women.
    • I was totally a “pick me” and a “I’m not like the other girls” growing up. While this wasn’t solely influenced by religion, it played a part in it.
    • God is both a Father and a Mother, but I never heard the Mother aspect spoken of. They referred to God our Father and Mother Mary. They only mentioned the term mother referring to humans while the term father was used for both God and humans, creating an imbalance between the two terms.
    • Acknowledging this helped me redefine what masculine and feminine energies mean to me. Did I view the terms “God” and “Goddess” the same or different? How about “Mother” and “Father”? How about other terms for God such as Allah, Almighty, Universal Consciousness, etc? Looking at all of this has helped me have a healthier and more balanced relationship with people of various genders and with myself. It also helped me create a better, more well-rounded view of God, the original nonbinary.
15. I had to acknowledge how much I had internalized viewing money as evil. That if I had too much money, I was bad. I’m not talking about billionaire level money. I do feel majority of billionaires are only able to be in such a position because they exploit and take advantage of others. I’m referring to middle class and upper middle class levels of finances.
    • Money itself isn’t evil. It’s an energy and a resource. How people use that resource is on them.
    • There are people who give all of their money to the church to the point that they can barely cover their bills or retirement. Yet there are too many churches who encourage this behavior. Too many who encourage this behavior have gold as their décor or live in grand houses or where expensive garments while their parishioners are living paycheck to paycheck. You don’t see these religious leaders selling these earthly belongings to take care of their parishioners in need.
16. I had to acknowledge that people’s praise of a person being God-fearing played more of a role in my initial relationship with God than I’d care to admit.
    • I had to define what God was to me and how I wanted to feel about God. I didn’t want to ever fear God. I wanted to love God and feel that God could always be the one to call on and that it was safe to do so. That they would always support me.
17. I had to acknowledge how often people operate under fear-based, control-based religion instead of love-based religion. And how often while they are operating under fear-based, control-based, they try to exert control over others using the guise of religion so they feel a false sense of power. While I have always be pro-life and pro-LGBTQIA rights, I had to acknowledge that for many years of having discussions and debates, it didn’t occur for me to say; “You are giving religious arguments for limiting another person’s rights and that isn’t acceptable in our government that is supposed to separate church and state.” It’s the fact that I spent SO much time coming up with and crafting reasons in support of my argument, but it’s a moot point purely because those topics shouldn’t be brought up anyway in a government setting.
    • Abortion is illegal due to people who operate in fear-based, control-based religious reasons. It isn’t illegal due to scientific or logical reasons. In fact, using logic and science support access to abortion. People who are so adamantly against abortions and cite religious reasons, can’t provide actual scriptures that would show why it is wrong because the Bible doesn’t say anything about abortions.
      • Banning abortions fringes on the rights of those who follow other religions that support abortion. Judaism puts the life of the pregnant person before the fetus. The fetus isn’t considered alive, but a physical part of the pregnant person. It’s unconstitutional to impose a religious argument against abortion onto them when their religion is very clear on its view of life and abortion. Atheists don’t follow any religion, so it’s unconstitutional to impose a religious argument against abortion onto them.
    • People are trying to fight against gay marriage because of fear-based religions. There are no scientific or logical reasons to be against gay marriage. It is all fear-based, control-based religious reasons.
18. I had to acknowledge that I gave the concept of evil too much credit and it was a copout. We use people being bad and evil and in Satan’s grasp as an excuse not to help others. Or as a means of acting like nothing can be done to prevent it. There are many, many people who aren’t evil. They are traumatized and have dealt with terrible childhoods that morphed them into who they are now. It doesn’t negate their actions. It doesn’t take away from the harm they have caused as adults. It’s more that there are a lot of bad people who are made because of our society. And if we take the time to create a better society, it would decrease the number of bad people in the world. The number of bad people in the world isn’t a reflection of Satan and his power. It is a reflection of the indifference to those in power to others’ pain and their unwillingness to help their neighbor. I say those in power because the decisions of those in charge have huge rippling effects for society as a whole. And the way they are currently shaping our society had created situations where more of us don’t have the time, finances, or resources to help others because we don’t have enough for ourselves. Bad people in the world are also a reflection of all of us taking part in disconnecting and dissociating with each other. Meaningful connections with each other are crucial for our survival. Care givers who provide a safe place is crucial to our survival. The amount of child abuse by care givers is horrific. There is an African proverb: “The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.” (Note: with that said regarding responsibility of society, people who do horrific acts of violence is not their fault. The perpetrators are the ones who are accountable and responsible for their actions.)
    • I had to acknowledge in real life how many people use Satan and demons as excuses for their terrible actions. They are abusers, pedophiles, and the like and instead of taking responsibility for their wrongdoings, they’ll blame it on the devil. When the victim is a woman, they often blame the woman for “tempting them” or some other type of bullshit. It’s hard to see all of atrocities and wars that occur in the name of religion. It’s hard to see people in real time make excuses for their poor actions by saying God told them to or that Satan lured them. I don’t think I’ll ever make peace with this one and I honestly don’t think I’m meant to. These are terrible things to witness and the anger propels me into action and speaking up for those who are wronged. If I am ever at peace with this one, I feel like it would be a sign that I’ve dissociated or something.
    • I had to acknowledge those who claim they are monsters or evil are doing so as a copout for their actions. They are acting like they are just a monstrous genius. What’s worse is others idealize these people. Look at the serial killers who are proclaimed to be geniuses. Yet these supposed geniuses couldn’t figure out how to get help? They couldn’t figure out ways to be responsible and accountable for their healing from their terrible childhoods? Why are there so many documentaries and so many people obsessed with these types?
    • It’s hard to see how many people claim another person is a devil worshipper even when there is no proof. They’ll call someone a devil worshipper or Satanic when a person brings up a valid point that makes them uncomfortable. They are so quick to condemn and try to turn others against the person. I’ve made peace with this one because those people who claim others are devil worshippers are already being punished because they have to live in their minds. They are also purposely turning away from opportunities of self-growth, self-reflection, and overall making their lives better. They have the free will to do so. Anyone who sides with them also has free will and they were just looking for an excuse to have a problem with me anyway. At least they are telling me how they view me and it helps me identify them and stay away from them. I don’t want these kinds of people in my life.
    • It’s hard to see people who claim mental illness is due to Satan and the person just needs to pray harder and belief in Jesus more. Could you imagine someone saying that to someone with diabetes? Telling them to stop taking their insulin and just pray to Jesus more?

 

As you can see from the above, clearing out that one belief forced me to address a lot of other perceptions I had. It forced me to look at my actions and take responsibility for them. It forced me to see the ways I harmed myself and make amends. I chose to forgive myself and those around me. I feel it has helped me tremendously, but it was a long, arduous journey to reach this point. Knowing all that I know now, I would absolutely do it again. I also understand why others may never take that journey or they make stop after a certain point. Shifting perceptions and paradigms is a lot of work.

 

Want to share something you had to acknowledge? Please share in the comments!