The purpose of this short blog is to illustrate the importance of focusing on what you actually want.
There is a saying: Where thoughts go, energy flows. We also know where feelings and actions go, energy flows.
So: Where thoughts, feelings, and actions go, energy flows. Where energy flows, manifestation follows.
Focus on what you want. Feel what you want. Act on what you want.
What does that mean?
When you are trying to manifest something, are you focusing on what you actually want or are you focusing on what you don’t want?
Example of Shifting the Focus to What I Actually Wanted:
When I leave from teaching, it requires me to merge onto a short on-ramp that connects with a highway. A big concern for me is if cars are there, blocking me from merging or making it more difficult.
Initially, my focus was on “please don’t let there be any cars there.”
Every single time, there were cars. Every time it felt like I came upon the cluster of cars on the highway that made merging difficult.
It was frustrating to say the least. I questioned the validity of my ability to manifest. Why were there always cars when I asked for there to be NO cars?
Then I asked myself what I was missing. What was I doing wrong?
The answer was: I was focusing on what I didn’t want. I didn’t want there to be cars where I was trying to merge. By focusing on those cars, I was subconsciously attracting the situation where my merging involved said cars.
So, what did I actually want? Space. An open path. I wanted an empty spot where I could merge safely.
I imagined a clear highway, a clear lane, a spot for me to go when I was merging.
Since I’ve been focusing on the space, I’ve had a huge increase in times where there is space for me to safely merge. By focusing on what I actually wanted, I was able to manifest it.
Add feelings to the mix:
If you want to add the feelings aspect to it, focusing on the joy and relief of safely merging onto the highway. This attracts more opportunities for manifesting safe merging situations.
And don’t marinate on the feelings of frustration if there is a car. Sometimes, there will still be a car on the highway. I quickly acknowledge and release said frustration. I don’t focus and hold onto it. I don’t use that situation as “proof” manifestation doesn’t work or that I’m not good at it. I’m not going to manifest 100% of the time the things I ask for. I’m not going to manifest 100% of the things that I want. And that’s okay. Next time I go to merge, I focus on the space for me and the joy of being able to safely merge.
Have you tried manifesting a parking spot?
People talk about parking spaces when it comes to manifesting and it’s a great way to manifest. What are you focusing on? An empty space. You can focus on where you want the empty space at and see how close you get to that area.
Have you tried manifesting your favorite item?
Do you have an item you like from the grocery store? Does it sell-out frequently? Focus on the item being fully stocked. Focus on the joy and elation you feel when your item is readily available to you.
Complex Manifestations:
Relationships:
If you are trying to attract a relationship, focus on the qualities you want in that person. I think it’s okay to be aware of your “deal-breakers” but those shouldn’t be the primary focus when you’re thinking about that partner, friend, business partner, etc. The focus should be on the great qualities. Focus on how it would feel to have that person in your life and to treat you the way you desire to be treated. Focus on what aspects that person loves and supports in you that are absolute musts for you. Do you need a person who supports your love of model trains? Do you need a person who supports your spiritual practices? Do you need a person who supports your independence and alone time?
Also, is a person is trying to manifest a specific person? Like “I want to be with (name)? Does (name) even have the qualities they want in a person? Has (name) ever shown any sort of interest? Is (name) in a relationship with someone else? Does (name) even know this person? I would recommend the person manifesting focus on the qualities they want and focus on manifesting a person with those qualities instead of putting all of that energy into a specific person.
Journal Ideas:
What do I want in a romantic relationship? What do I want in a friendship? What do I want in a family? What do I want in a business relationship? What do I want in my relationship with myself? How would I feel if I had a person treat me like (quality I desire)? How would I feel if this person had (quality I desire)? What parts of you do you need loved and supported by this person? How would it feel to have that side of you loved and supported?
If at any point it feels uncomfortable answering these questions, why? Why does getting what I want make me uncomfortable? How old to I feel? How can I heal this?
Business/Career:
If you are trying to attract a better business/career opportunity, focus on the type of career you want. Focus on the great qualities. Focus on how it would feel to have the type of career you desire. Focus on how it would feel to be appreciated for your work. What does this appreciation look like?
If your main focus for career is the financial aspect of it. Focus on financial security, financial abundance, and the like. Focus on how your career pays you a comfortable wage/salary. Focus on the high number of your salary bracket (like focusing on $90,000 if the salary is a 60k-90k range). Focus on how it would feel to have the salary you desire. Focus on the comforts it would bring.
Journal Ideas:
What does my typical work week look like? Do I have coworkers? What kind of relationship do I have with them? Do I have a boss? What kind of relationship do I have with my boss? How do I want my boss and coworkers to express their appreciation and support? How do I feel being appreciated and shown appreciation by my boss and coworkers?
If at any point it feels uncomfortable while answering these questions, why? Why does getting what I want make me uncomfortable? How old do I feel? How can I heal this?
Add in Gratitude:
You can add the gratitude at any point or have it permeate throughout your time focusing on what you want. Gratitude for safely merging on the highway. Gratitude for having a parking space. Gratitude for the wonderful, healthy relationships with the people in your life. Gratitude for the relationship with yourself. Gratitude for your boss. Gratitude for your coworkers. Gratitude for your career.
Journal ideas:
What am I grateful for? What am I grateful for in my relationships? Who am I grateful to? What am I grateful for in my career? What little blessings have happened that I am grateful for?
Blessings (good luck) attracts more blessings (good luck):
I grew up hearing that good luck runs out. I had a misbelief that I had a finite amount of luck allotted to me in life. I remember there were times I didn’t want to win a raffle or a door prize or a “small” event because I “didn’t want to waste my luck on that.”
What we have/project can attract more of the like. The more we experience blessings (good luck), the more we attract of that.
Journal ideas:
Do I think good luck is finite? Do I feel good luck only happens in certain circumstances? Do I think I only have a specific type of luck in life? How would it feel if I have good luck in X category? How do I feel about being blessed? How do I feel about having good luck?
Still not Working?
How many times did we not get what we want, be upset about it, and years later we are grateful we didn’t receive what we were asking for? It could also be a timing thing. When manifesting relationships, it’s not just you that has to be taken into consideration, but the other person. They have their quirks, lifepath, aspects, etc they may need to address and heal. It may be that the timing isn’t right. Life is a complex, interconnected experience and everyone’s choices and decisions affect everyone and everything else.
Journal Ideas:
How would I feel if I actually got what I want? Is that really what is best for me? Is that what I really need?
We live in a complex, paradoxical system that includes other groups and various levels of influence. Are we giving what we are trying to manifest time to come into being?
If what they are trying to manifest changes a huge, interwoven complex structure, it may take more time and focus to disassemble it.
Business example:
If they are trying to manifest restructuring of a company so it is more harmonious, put they aren’t one of the executives of said company, it may take longer to bring this manifestation into being, especially if the executives want to keep the current structure in place. Those trying to manifest this may need others of like-mind to help them focus on that manifestation. Or it may be they need to create their own company that is structured in the way they think is ideal for everyone. That may require time to get the amount of financial investment necessary as well as attract/find the types of people they’d need to help all of it come together. Those may be decade(s) long types that have multiple small manifestations in-between.
Does what we are trying to manifest involve changing someone who has no desire to?
Relationship example:
If they are trying to manifest a healthy relationship, but their partner is abusive, no amount of tactics will change the outcome. Especially if their partner doesn’t see anything wrong with what they are doing. Or even if their partner sees it as wrong, but “this is who they are” type of excuses. Or even if their partner goes for “help”, but doesn’t do any of the activities to help them improve.
If you’re in an abusive relationship, please know it is not your fault. It is not your responsibility to change anyone. You can’t change anyone. None of us can change anyone else. Change is a very personal process. We can only change ourselves and we have to be willing and actively trying to change.
Journal ideas:
What am I trying to manifest? Who would have to change in order for this to happen/work? Do they want what I am trying to manifest? Are they willing to change? Are they actively making progress with their changes? Am I willing to end this relationship? Am I willing to end unhealthy relationships? How would I feel being in a healthy relationship?
Have something you are trying to manifest, but are stuck in how to ask for it? Leave a comment!