Aim for Average!

The purpose of this post is to help those who may be more in the category of feeling self-dislike, self-hatred, self-shame, self-disgust, and/or some other negative viewpoints of themselves.

So, if self-love seems too unrealistic, aim for self-tolerance and self-neutrality.

Self-love doesn’t occur overnight, especially if you’re starting from a negative viewpoint of yourself. It can take days, weeks, months, years, and/or a lifetime. Sometimes, our self-hatred is so strong that we can’t even comprehend EVER loving ourselves.

Just because you don’t love yourself, doesn’t mean your only option is to hate yourself. Why not aim to be neutral about yourself?

Can’t view yourself as awesome or amazing? Why not aim to view yourself as average? Can’t view yourself as a great person? Why not aim to view yourself as a neutral person?

Every person deserves and is worthy of being treated with basic human decency. Basic human decency is being treated with honesty, good manners, and respect.

Every person of every age, ability and/or disability, race, ethnicity, gender, mental capacity, size, and physical appearance deserves to be treated with basic human decency.

You can view yourself as the ugliest, dumbest person on the face of the planet AND recognize that you still deserve to be treated with basic human decency.

Exercise:

When you’re having negative self-talk, say aloud (if comfortable):

“(your name), I’m sorry I’ve spoken to you in such an unhealthy way. You deserve to be treated with respect.”

Then, take the original negative statement and see how you can create three neutral statements from it.

OR

Another tactic you can try complements of @maramahan: “replace self-deprecating jokes with ironically self-aggrandizing jokes.”

Example:

Incorporating Beneficial Statements:

Provided at the end of this blog are some beneficial statement ideas that fall in the neutral and average categories. You can see if you consciously and/or subconsciously disagree with any (or all) of these statements.

To subconsciously figure out if you disagree with any of the statements, you can: pendulum test, sway test, muscle test, and/or body check test. The first three methods can be found on different websites, blogs, and in the ebook “Revealing Your Diamond.”

Body Check Test: Say the statement (aloud or internally) with eyes closed and notice how your body responds to it. Does the statement cause an uncomfortable sensation? Do you notice any physical symptoms? Do you notice any emotions or feelings that you hadn’t noticed before? Do you notice any memories, visuals, sounds, smells, or anything else? A combo of all of it? Write down what is going on and where. If you don’t have a memory, but want to know when your disagreement with the statement first started, you can always pendulum test, sway test, or muscle test to determine the age.

Once you figure out what statement you don’t agree with (consciously and/or subconsciously), you can use any of the methods below to integrate the statement into your subconscious mind.

1. Crossy-Cross Position:

• Step 1: Cross your left ankle over your right ankle OR cross your right ankle over your left ankle (go with what feels right)
• Step 2: Cross your left wrist over your right wrist OR cross your right wrist over your left wrist (it’s okay if the same ankle and wrist are on top OR if opposite ankle and wrist are on top)
• Step 3: Straighten out your arms (wrist still crossed)
• Step 4: Roll yours hands so your pinkies are pointed up towards the ceiling. This allows you to be able to clasp your hands together.
• Step 5: Slowly swoop your clasped hands down towards the floor. Bend at the elbow as your hands come upward towards your chest. By this point, your pinkies should be resting against your chest. (If you can’t do this, that is okay. You can rest your crossed wrists on your lap if that is more comfortable. It will still work.)

I only call this the Crossy-Cross Position because it’s a fun way to say it and my patients remember what to do.

There are some that say to stick your tongue behind your upper front teeth because it’s one place where the governing and conception meridian meet, so it helps close that loop.

I’ve performed this with just the wrists and ankles crossed. I’ve performed this with just the wrists crossed (Dr. Jerry Tennant has recommended this for reprogramming the subconscious mind). Or with just the ankles crossed. I’ve been in a position where I visualized my wrists and ankles crossed. All of these positions have worked for me. Intention seems to be the biggest thing.

By crossing both arms and/or legs at the same time, “we are creating a stronger connection between the two hemispheres, essentially asking the brain to communicate across the longitudinal fissure or groove that separates the two sides of the brain” (Toprakci).

Eagle pose, for example, is a yoga maneuver that has been found to activate both sides of the brain because the extremities cross the midline of the body (Hankins).

The Crossy-Cross Position itself is not unique. There are different names for this pose and utilized in different modalities. I listed some of the different versions of this position, but this is not even close to a complete list.

• Gomukhasana Garudasana (Cow Face Pose with Eagle Arms)
• Seated Garudasana (Seated Eagle Pose)
• Cooks’s Balance Hook Up Postion: Wayne Cook and taught by Donna Eden: Wayne Cook said he modified chair pose technique in yoga to come up with this position: it connects you to vital energy pathways, opens your chakras, and unscrambles chaotic energies in your system
• Balanced Breathing Exercise: Dr. George Pratt: the goal is to bring balance to the body
• Whole Brain Posture: Paul E. Dennison, Ph: The position allows the left and right brain to synchronize and communicate more effectively

2. Cross-Crawl Maneuver:

• Standing: Bring your right hand across your body as you bring your left knee up and across your body so the hand and knee touch. Bring them back to their original positions and then repeat for left hand and right knee. Bring them back to their original position and then repeat for right hand and left knee. Repeat.
• Sitting: Bring your right hand across your body and touch your left knee. Bring your right hand back to its original position and then repeat for the left hand to right knee. Bring your left hand back to its original position and then repeat for your right hand. Repeat.

3. Figure 8s with Arms:

• While standing or sitting, draw 8s that are lying down with both hands.
• Step 1: Start with moving your right and left arms away from the midline of the body, scoop them both upward while still away from midline of body
• Step 2: Bring your left and right arm towards the midline of the body while both move at a downward diagonal.
• Step 3: Have arms cross the midline at different angles so both arms are able to cross the midline at the same time as they both curve upward.
• Step 4: Have arms move at away from the midline while both move at a downward diagonal, completing the figure 8.
• Repeat as needed.

For all three of these methods, you repeat the statement either internally or aloud over and over again as you hold the position (1) or perform the motion (2 & 3). You continue until you feel lighter, more relaxed, and/or you find yourself in agreement with the statement. When you’re done, make sure to retest that your subconscious now agrees with the statement.

If heavy or uncomfortable feelings come up, feel them, honor them, thank them, and then allow them to pass. If you feel the feelings won’t go away, there may be more that needs to be uncovered in order to incorporate that statement into your subconscious. Journal work and seeking a professional would be a good idea. If your mind tries to argue with you about incorporating the statement, speak to your mind with the compassion and understanding you would a child. If you aren’t able to resolve it with your mind, there may be more that needs to be done. Again, journal work and seeking a professional would be advisable.

Beneficial Statement Ideas:

1. I am okay.
2. I am an okay person.
3. I am okay with myself.
4. I have an okay life.
5. I am okay with my flaws.
6. I am okay with my imperfections.
7. I accept I’m an okay person.
8. I am okay with being average.
9. I am average.
10. I am an average person.
11. I have an average life.
12. I accept I am average.
13. I am neutral about myself.
14. I am neutral about my flaws.
15. I am neutral about my imperfections.
16. I deserve an average life.
17. I deserve to be treated with basic human decency.
18. I am treated with basic human decency.
19. I treat myself with basic human decency.
20. Everyone deserves help, including me.
21. Everyone deserves respect, including me.
22. I am okay with my physical appearance.
23. I am okay with my intelligence.
24. I am okay with my emotional skills.
25. I am okay with my social skills.
26. I am neutral about my physical appearance.
27. I am neutral about my intelligence.
28. I am neutral about my emotional skills.
29. I am neutral about my social skills.
30. I am of average intelligence.
31. I am of average appearance.
32. I am of average health.
33. I am of average fitness.
34. I am of average success.
35. I am of average spirituality.
36. I am of average emotional maturity.
37. I am of average attitude.
38. I am of average interest.
39. I am of average talent.
40. I am of average learning.
41. I am of average passion.
42. I am of average attraction.
43. I am of average creativity.
44. I show average affection.
45. I show average intimacy.
46. I have an average drive.
47. I have average social skills.
48. I have average emotional skills.
49. I have average work ethics.
50. I have average moral ethics.

References:

• Toprakci, T. (2019, August 16). Activating the left and right hemispheres of the brain. MAUI FAMILY. https://mauifamilymagazine.com/37073-2/.
• Hankins, C. (2015, February 12). Three calming yoga poses for children. Connect the Dots Pediatric Therapy. https://ctdpediatrictherapy.com/three-calming-yoga-poses-for-children/.